your discomfort > my pain.

do Black women even hurt? if a tree falls in the forest, and there’s no one around to hear it, does it make a sound?

to say “please stop, you’re hurting me” is meaningless because it isn’t even heard. when you hurt me, though fully human and capable of physical or emotional pain, i’m expected to apologize. anything else is seen as an attack. no, instead i have to ignore my own feelings and tend to your discomfort at any cost. if i’m not smiling and thanking the world for allowing me to exist, then my disappointment is a threat.

i want to live in a place where my comfort is also important, or at the very least, my pain is acknowledged. i can count on one hand the times i remember receiving an apology that i was due. unsurprisingly, they’ve all been from Black women. sitting here now, i wonder... did i actually hurt them first? did they reflexively apologize? i mean, that’s just what we do.